Jan 25 2007


Category: Life Stories,Tech,Time travelerm @ 8:33 am

Do you wish you could just press ctrl+z in life some times?

I find myself wanting to just reach over and press ctrl+z all the time.
Here’s some examples.

  • Oops I dropped that ctrl+z, and it’s back in your hand.
  • Oops I deleted that ctrl+z, and it’s back on your drive.
  • Oops I worded that wrong ctrl+z, and the words were never spoken.

Unfortunately IRL – in real life – ctrl+z just doesn’t exist.

There are things you say and do that just can’t be fixed.

You can’t take it back, you can’t go back in time, and stop it from happening, and you can’t _FILL_IN_YOUR_BLANK_.

So why do you live with regret, I know I do. I have a lot of things that just haunt me. Stupid things. Things that it just doesn’t make sense that it bothers you, but it does.

Washing dishes seems to be my trigger. There’s something about it that causes me to remember an event in my life that I wish I never would have done. Dam bottle brush.

Logically I can think to myself … it’s in the past there’s nothing you can do about it. Emotionally and psychologically the sting of regret permeates my every thought. Absorbing it until I have to say out loud … shut up.

I don’t ‘hear’ voices … well let me rephrase that. I don’t hear voices that i know are not inside my head. To be even more clear – I don’t hear voices outside my head and think they are real. I know they are inside my head.

To be more clear on what I hear … it’s like when someone talks to you in your dream. You can hear it, but you know it’s inside your head.

I don’t know I think it’s kinda stupid me sitting here trying to explain my mental state. For all I’m schizophrenic. After watching ‘beautiful mind’ I question myself so add paranoia to the list.

All my life I’ve heard the joke … It’s ok if you talk to yourself, just as long as you don’t answer.

This makes no sense to me everyone answers themselves. Somewhere some time, you had an inner dialog weighing a decision, pondering an outcome. So in a sense you’re talking to yourself, and answering yourself.

I’d be more worried about you if you said you never talked to yourself, or answered yourself, because that means you’re just a mindless drone that I can convince of anything being ‘ok.’

I wonder how everyone else thinks … do they start off a statement to themselves … I hate this, or is it a simple ‘this sucks.’

Enough navel gazing …

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